If you love music, don't go near this song.

RAEWYN
RUSSELL CROWE
Model 101 Records

By Brenda Cowan

Russell Crowe has a new single out. Yes, he does and if you have any doubts as to whether or not it's any good or worth the effort of downloading, well, just ask him. He'll tell you how wonderful and moving the lyrics are and the total positive effect they've had on all who have heard this wonderful song. Gee, just ask Sting and Billy Bragg; they both e-mailed praise back to the humble Mr. Crowe and he was so overcome by their e-mails, he released the private correspondence as further proof of his musical genius. Oh, we could all learn so much from him.

Well, being that I find it a bit "unethical" to write about any song I haven't actually heard yet, I gave "Raewyn" a spin. OH GOD HELP ME!!! I thought at first the speakers on my computer were malfunctioning. I double checked my DSL connection. No, I was hearing it the way Crowe released it. You know, I use to forgive him his untrained voice, but that was back in the day when even he was being honest about his shortcomings. But with all his acting success, it seems Crowe may have grown quite an ego--one so big that he can't hear that the vocals are not in tune and that maybe some voice lessons would help. Actually, I think voice lessons should be mandatory before he is ever let inside a recording studio again. I'm surprised the mikes didn't short circuit during the sessions.

Now to the lyrics, the words that, according to Crowe, made men cry and call their moms or some such drivel: they cried all right. They cried because the lyrics are just garbage, dripping with sentiment and way too crowded. You can hear Crowe struggling to get all the words out while singing and that isn't lack of vocal ability--that is lack of editing. Crowe has always suffered from "over-writing" his songs, but he was actually getting better. However, he has managed to travel back in time to those first awkward attempts at songwriting.

"Raewyn" is available for download, but you know what? Not gonna even give the link. Trust me on this one; take the money and go buy some sandpaper and get to work on that old chair you have sitting around the back garden; the sandpapering will sound better. As for Sting and Bragg, I have some advice for you two: Stop encouraging Crowe!

And if you are intent on torturing yourself with a listen, you also get the fun of reading the epic explanation of the lyrics (evidently the song doesn't have enough words in it already). Now, that really annoys me. I hate it when artists over-explain themselves, especially in music. You rob the audience of the chance to interpret and experience the piece on its own. But then, Mr. Crowe is obviously a control freak of the worst kind, the kind with money and resources.

So basically what I am saying is this: If you love music, don't go near this song. It might do permanent damage to your ears.

Page last updated: April 24, 2005

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