Note: I, the Perfesser, being of obsessively sound mind and filled-with-knowledge body, present to you my first foray into the exciting world of interviewing crossed with the hoary custom of the theatre. Here I shall delve deep into the psyche of one Ben Eshbach to discover just what it is that makes his band, The Sugarplastic, one you absolutely must seek out and enjoy. And you will enjoy them, for I am the Perfesser and I know what's good for you.

And now, may I present to you my play. I may? Why, thank you!

THE RELUCTANT PERFORMER
An interview in three acts

CHARACTERS (in alphabetical order):

MR. BEN ESHBACH, lead vocalist/guitarist of The Sugarplastic
THE PERFESSER, resident twolazycritics.com arts and entertainment expert, profound raconteur, and all-around swell gal
A TOUCHY TAPE RECORDER, which is self-evident; do I have to explain everything to you??

ACT I: The Early Years

Backstory: The Sugarplastic began, as many bands do, in the bedroom of a couple of teenage boys, Ben Eshbach and Kiara Geller, who goofed around with instruments. From its beginning in late 1989 as an unnamed, instrumental band, The Sugarplastic has become known for its erudite lyrics, off-beat melodies, and short sets. If The Sugarplastic were to have played with Tenacious D when the latter band first started out, the combined time of performances would fit on one side of a 60-minute tape. The band has worked with such musical heavyweights as Pat Mastelotto (drummer for King Crimson) and Andy Metcalfe (bass player for Robyn Hitchcock). The band has three albums: "Radio Jejune," "Bang, The Earth is Round" (Geffen) and "Resin," as well as a song on The Powerpuff Girls album "Heroes and Villains" (Rhino). They are working on a unique project, "7 x 7 x 7," a series of seven colored vinyl singles released by Tallboy Records one at a time every three months for two years; only 300 of each single will be pressed. A full-length album, "Will," is scheduled to be released later this year. Currently, the band consists of Eshbach, bassist Geller, and drummer David Cunningham.

The setting: A nicely-appointed apartment somewhere in Southern California. In this case, "nicely-appointed" means there are interesting bits of Disneyana scattered about and a comfortable couch to sit on. Here THE PERFESSER, an ethereal vessel of great gobs of knowledge, places herself with assurance and perfect posture. She is dressed in the garb of the day, with well-coiffed burgundy and blue hair and perfectly applied make-up. MR. BEN ESHBACH, resident of the nicely-appointed apartment, places himself squarely on the hardwood floor. He is a thin, bespectacled man with dark hair and an introspective demeanor. While THE PERFESSER generally enjoys being in a position of superiority, the psychological disparity of the sitting situation is too great, and so she joins him on the floor. She places the tape recorder between them, sips from her glass of merlot, and begins the interviewing process:

Perfesser [enthusiastically]: So, Ben, how did you form Sugarplastic?

Mr. Eshbach [matter-of-factly]: I didn't form it; it was formed by my bass player, Kiara Geller.

Perfesser [grumbling]: Well, when and why then?

Mr. Eshbach [informatively]: Sometime in the late eighties, he would come to my house and we'd play guitar in the bedroom. He really liked the way it sounded, so he got a tape recorder and recorded some stuff that I was playing, then went around and shopped for drummers behind my back. He found Josh Laner, introduced me to him, and said, "Hey, I have an idea: Let's all play in a band." [The Perfesser immediately imagines a Mickey Rooney movie scenario, and quickly takes another sip of wine] I said, "Well, let's get together and we'll just play around," and that's how it started.

Perfesser: You guys were instrumental at first, right?

Mr. Eshbach: Yes, only instrumentals. There was no singer in the band -- none of us could sing.

Perfesser: Is that why you hate to sing -- because you think you can't sing?

Mr. Eshbach: I don't hate to sing; I hate to perform live. I enjoy singing, actually, especially in the studio when I can layer my voice. At first, I didn't like the sound of my voice recorded, but I don't think anybody does. Have you ever sung into a microphone?

Perfesser [laughing]: Yes, I have sung into microphone before. [In a self-deprecating tone]: I sound awful.

Mr. Eshbach [kindly]: Would you like to hear what you sound like on my answering machine?

Perfesser [in an unguarded moment]: Hell, no! I know how I sound on people's answering machines -- kind of nasal.

Mr. Eshbach: I think my voice is nasally, too -- really badly nasal.

Perfesser [with arched brow born of delayed suspicion] Wait a minute -- you've got me still recorded on your answering machine?

Mr. Eshbach [innocently]: Oh, yes, I think I picked up halfway after you said your name when you called today. I erase my messages once a month.

[The Perfesser quickly scribbles in her note pad: "Investigate efficacy of restraining orders."]

Perfesser [in the fashion of Barbara Walters' hard-hitting journalism]: Why the name, "Sugarplastic"? How did that come about?

Mr. Eshbach [slightly perplexed]: How did what come about?

Perfesser: The name.

Mr. Eshbach: The Sugarplastic?

Perfesser [rock snobbishly]: A lot of bands pick different names before settling on one name. For instance, R.E.M. had many; one of them was Cans of Piss. I recall reading that you had called yourselves The Sugarplastic Afro at one point. [The Perfesser sips more wine.]

Mr. Eshbach [smiling]: We weren't doing any shows; we didn't make any recordings for public consumption, so we didn't even have to have a name for the first year. Then, when it came time to do a live show, we had to settle on one. Rob Zabrecky from Possum Dixon asked us to do a show with him, and so, oh, boy [tangentially] -- that was the most nervous night of my life because it was the first time I ever had to get in front of people and sing my songs. I have a recording of it still. Someone in the audience recorded it; I borrowed it and promised to get it back to him, but then I listened to it and it was so horrible that I've never given it back. I think he's forgotten that he even made it. There were five people in the band then; Brad Laner and Mary Grubbs were both in the band.

Perfesser [questioningly]: There's three now, right?

Mr. Eshbach: There's three now.

Perfesser: Why did you pare down?

Mr. Eshbach [matter-of-factly, with no trace of acrimony]: Because I didn't get along with Brad -- he tried to tell me what to do and it was clear that he wasn't the leader. Mary didn't show up to rehearsal a few times in a row, so we kicked her out. I don't think she wanted to be in the band.

Perfesser: What kinds of things inspire your music?

Mr. Eshbach: Christianity factors a lot into it. Relationships factor a lot into it?what are you checking? [He looks with minor concern at the now-distracted Perfesser]

Perfesser [fiddling with tape recorder]: To make sure it's going slow.

Mr. Eshbach: Is it going slow?

Perfesser: Yes. [The absent-minded Perfesser again focuses on her interview subject, acutely aware she has just been rude, but too proud to apologize. She notes MR. ESHBACH isn't half-bad looking as she takes another sip of merlot.]

Mr. Eshbach [getting back on topic]: And then, the things I read affect our lyrics. Lyrics mean very little to me because I like music. I like classical music, I like songs, sounds. I put lyrics to these songs because it's a tradition and people rationalize that tradition and make it seem like [the sentence trails off as he dissolves into laughter]. If it had somehow become a tradition to wear a dead rabbit on your head when you were onstage, the most serious and intelligent musicians in this city would be wearing a dead rabbit on their head and thinking that that was an essential characteristic of making music. And, it isn't, and neither are lyrics.

Perfesser: Would you prefer to be an instrumental band then?

Mr. Eshbach [matter-of-factly and a bit like Bartleby]: Well, I wouldn't prefer to be in a band at all. I'd prefer to compose. For the last couple of years, all I've been doing is composing instrumental pieces for myself. Someone the other day told me that that wasn't art because art is a form of communication, and if I wasn't sharing with somebody, I wasn't communicating.

Perfesser [dismissively]: I guess that's one way of looking at art.

Mr. Eshbach [agreeably]: It's a very narrow way of looking at art.

Perfesser: I don't think it's the right way of looking at art. [A quick sip of wine causes THE PERFESSER to switch gears.] Can you describe your sound for our readers, please?

Mr. Eshbach: I think the thing about The Sugarplastic is I've never been able to recognize one common denominator. We have slow songs, fast songs, full songs, stripped-down songs, acoustic songs, electric songs. They're all melodic; very few of the songs are written in the formulaic verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge -- I don't think I've ever written a bridge in my life. They're unorthodox structures.

Perfesser [snobbish tendencies perk up]: You think they're intellectual?

Mr. Eshbach: Well, the lyrics might be kind of oblique. The music, I don't think, is that intellectual. Maybe it is -- I don't know. But it's sometimes jangly. All the bands that the critics always compare us to are XTC, the Talking Heads, and the Pixies. [Conversation digresses into tones too low for the audience to hear, then return to normal as MR. ESHBACH says:] I can't tell what else the sound is like. I'm not being coy. I'm not being [in a big important voice] "Well my music is so special that I can't categorize it." We do everything. [The conversationalists pause briefly as THE PERFESSER once again checks on the tape recorder. The curtain falls. End of Act I]

Next: Why only press 300 of each single? Did you count up all your fans or something?
1, 2, 3

Page last updated: September 30, 2003

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