TWO LAZY CRITICS MISSION STATEMENT

We're here to talk mostly about things we like. We're especially interested in promoting things you may not have heard of, such as unsigned bands or independent art films, but we like mainstream things, too. And, like the name says, we're lazy; we prefer to use our limited energy supply in a positive way. Of course, if there's something so absolutely, 100% blech! out there that we have to warn everyone to avoid it, we'll do it, but we reserve the right to sleep in afterwards.

As you're already getting so much like out of us, we've included things we don't like in our bios. We've also admitted to a few guilty pleasures for your amusement...okay, and ours!

ABOUT: Brenda Cowan

The first thing I remember writing was a short story for my mom. I cut pictures out of the Sears catalogue and wrote one or two lines below each picture and then stapled it together and gave it to her for Mother's Day. She still has it.

Many years later I found myself writing for the British Magazine Red Hot Country. It was an Internet-based music publication available in print in the U.K. I had graduated from the Sears Catalogue. I've also published one chapbook of poetry, From Where I Fell This Is How Things Look So Far, now out of print. Red Hot Country closed its doors about 1997 and I moved onto writing for several other internet sites.

I'm just a big music fan and hate to see good work overlooked. I've been known to paint, but few have ever been able to decipher my work from that side of my life and I like that.

Movies I Dislike: Pearl Harbor, Far and Away, The Scarlet Letter (Demi Moore version), A Knight's Tale, Armageddon.

Music I Dislike: Celine Dion, Britney Spears, Shania Twain, Toby Keith, Darryl Worley

Guilty Pleasures: "The Partridge Family Greatest Hits," 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. (DVD), "ABBA Greatest Hits," a subscription to People magazine, a donkey-shaped piggy bank

ABOUT: Désirée I. Guzzetta

I've been writing since I was a little girl, mostly poetry and some fiction, mostly for myself, but sharing some with my family since my then-stepfather found a poem I'd written and showed it to my mom. I expected to get in trouble because the poem, which was political in nature, had a few swear words in it. Instead, they both loved it and encouraged my madness.

Some of my poems have been published, with one of my proudest moments being having a poem chosen for print in the inaugural issue of WV: The Writer's Voice. I've even had a piece of juvenilia published in my alma mater's literary journal. What can I say? The poem holds up!

In college, I wound up writing for my college paper, going from Staff Writer to Music and Film Critic and scoring the occasional column and humor piece. I wrote for the campus paper at the college I attended for my master's degree, eventually getting picked to be the editor of the entertainment section. That led to a gig as a Staff Writer at the now-defunct independent paper, Pacific News 'N Review (R.I.P., Randy!), where I wrote features, interviews, and reviews. Since then, I've done freelance work for magazines such as ROCKRGRL, Goldmine and Bust, and became the freelance Music Editor for Estylo.

Movies I Dislike: A Knight's Tale; Jacob's Ladder; The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover; Armageddon; any movie starring Steven Seagal

Music I Dislike: Garth Brooks' brand of "country," Britney Spears' brand of "pop," Creed, Matchbox Twenty, Limp Bizkit

Guilty Pleasures: My old Shaun Cassidy records, Duran Duran, The Stepfather, the first three Basket Case movies, collecting knickknacks I saw in Pulp Fiction.

To contact Désirée Guzzetta, translate the following into the proper form (look at how the site name is spelled out) and put it in your favorite e-mail client: Desiree AT 2 La-zee Critics DOT com.

ABOUT: The Perfesser

The Perfesser is a mysterious creature who lives in an Ivory Tower with her three intrepid felines. She occasionally deigns to discuss things near and dear to her heart, such as arts, literature, entertainment, and cats. The Perfesser is not so much lazy as busy, which is why we had to write this bio for her. When asked for her dislikes and guilty pleasures, The Perfesser scoffed, "I don't do lists unless it's the end of the year." To contact The Perfesser, tap your shoes together three times and recite the entire works of Shakespeare (including the sonnets!). It's been known to work!

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